Bad news is we have to keep going tomorrow, good news is I’ll keep going with you
You are the place I return to, even when everything else feels lost.
I lost count of how many days I survive because of you. Just like how I lost count of how many stars there are in the sky at the nights when I almost gave up.
It’s strange how something so distant can make you feel so close to yourself. In those lonely nights, I learned that survival is not just a matter of breath, but of finding light in places we never thought to look. Even when the world seemed bleak, you gave me reasons to believe that beauty could still exist in the smallest corners of life.
I was never used to quietness. I found it boring before. But then I fell in love with it when you came into my life. In your presence, I realized that not all silence is empty; some of it is filled with the quiet conversations of the soul.
I learned how to love the warmth it gives. The peace it surrounds my mind. The used-to-be awkward silence became my home.
When the world outside was loud and unforgiving, you were the calm I craved. In the spaces between words, I found a sense of belonging that no one else could offer. Home wasn’t just a place anymore it was the feeling of being understood without explanation, of being seen without needing to show.
You made my most silent times the best ones. When I was lost and uncertain of what came next, you assured me that today was already enough to live.
But now I’ve lost count of how many days I’ve survived without you. How many nights I didn’t bombard your messenger with countless messages. I’ve lost count of how many times I sent you short, empty texts something so rare because I used to message you with long essays, sharing every little detail of my life.
You used to know every little piece of me, every fleeting thought and emotion that crossed my mind… I doubt you still do now.
I’ve lost count of how many downfalls I’ve experienced without sharing them with you. How many wins I’ve received without your smiley face congratulating me. The victories are a little less sweet, the failures a little more bitter because I no longer have you to share them with.
I know that all of it might be easier and happier if only you were here. There would be times I’d suddenly think that we would be unstoppable if life didn’t choose to separate our paths.
Yet, I suppose that’s what growing up does to us it shows us the things we were never meant to keep.
Destiny is a traitor, right? Tons of plans will stay as plans now. A lot of memories will stay as they are. And I will always live in our past. It’s as if the universe played a cruel joke on us, giving us dreams only to scatter them with the winds of time. The future we envisioned is nothing more than a faded photograph, a reminder of what we hoped to build. And yet, I hold onto those memories, because even if they are frozen in time, they are the proof that once, we were everything.
You were the first person who surrounded me with her arms and provided me a safe place to be vulnerable. The person who didn’t make me insecure for being who I am but rather made me feel accepted and loved. You saw me in my rawest form, unpolished and imperfect, and you loved me anyway. With you, I didn’t have to pretend to be someone I wasn’t; I could simply be, and that was enough.
My human diary… do you still have tons of pages for me to rant to? Can I just stay beside you and let all the bad things the world gives me be written? Sometimes, I wonder if our hearts still speak the same language, even if time has forced us into silence. Is there still space for me in the margins of your life, where I can scribble the truths too heavy to carry alone? I ache for the days when I didn’t need to ask, when I knew you were always just a thought away.
Even if we just talk once a week or a month, every time, it feels like going home. Like I’m going back to the most peaceful years of my life. And those years were when you were in it. Time may have taken us in different directions, but with you, it feels like nothing has changed. Every conversation is a reunion of souls that never really drifted apart.
You are the place I return to, even when everything else feels lost.
Keep going for tomorrow is getting harder and harder as the days go by. It’s quite harder knowing that it would be a little easier if I were listening to your daily reminders and quotes that seemed as if they were pulled from the pages of the greatest novelists.
But knowing that every day there is you, that even if we are miles apart, there is still someone who knew how hard I try to keep going makes the weight less heavy.
I’ll keep going. I know how many times we joked that we hope we’d just die suddenly, but I knew deep down we don’t want to. We are not the type to give up, even when it feels like the world is collapsing around us. We are dreamers, not quitters, and our dreams are too big, too important, to be abandoned.
So, I’ll keep going, for you, for us, for the future we once imagined, and for the one I’ll build on my own if I have to.
We’re just drained dreamers, who just want to look for a place to rest but not to give up. I know that it’s hard and it will still get harder, but for the dreams I told you, I’ll keep going.
Until those dreams become my reality, I’ll keep going. Until I’m keep going with you… I’ll keep going.
Jessa, I hope you come across this, Dre! I love you to the moon and back, and beyond anything the universe could ever measure. No matter how far apart life takes us, my love for you will always reach across the stars. ❤
