Maybe in another universe, I don’t feel like the archer.
do you see right through me?
’Cause they see right through me
They see right through me
They see right through
Can you see right through me?
They see right through
They see right through me
I see right through me
I see right through me
This is my favorite part in ‘The Archer.’
I remember how I felt the connection on the bridge of the song.
I’m a swifty. And each time I’m having a breakdown I’d find myself listening to Taylor’s song.
There was a time when all I can think of is to cry because all the problems in my plate seems to be unresolvable. I was crying uncontrollably because I was too drained of everything. Then I was playing shuffled Taylor’s song in Spotify when suddenly I had an anxiety attack and then the bridge played. The feeling of anxiety matches the beat of the songs bridge that is picking like a heart rate. I know it’s weird but that was what I really felt. It is slowly rising up, then it goes a little low just to rise up higher.
So then at the time I have found my comfort song.
Because I realize I have my own definition of ‘The Archer.’
‘The Archer’ for others is being… transparent.
People see right through you. Maybe they’re struggling with their own self-image, wondering if others perceive them as they truly are. The repetition emphasizes this feeling of transparency, as if their inner thoughts and emotions are laid bare for everyone to see.
But then for me it’s not the case.
’Cause they see right through me
For me they see right through me means… they don’t see me at all.
Their eyes passed on me, as if I am a ghost.
Not transparent, but invisible.
They see right through me
They see right through
I was always there but then it will never be enough just to be there.
They won’t appreciate my presence, simply because I wasn’t the best.
Can you see right through me?
They see right through
They see right through me
They keep seeing the person behind me.
The person who is better than me.
The person who is the best.
I see right through me
I see right through me
And even I myself see right through me.
I don’t see the sacrifices I make, the pain I endure, or the blood from my wounds, nor do I notice the marks of suffering I’ve encountered.
What I see is my failure. My shortcomings.
The things I didn’t make, the goals I didn’t reach, and the person I didn’t become.
What I also see is the person ahead of me. The shiniest star.
That’s why they see right through me because I was just a mere… stardust.
The archer is for the generalized anxiety disorder girlies who takes two hours to fall asleep at night. The girlies who have been overlooked and for once, even for once, wishes to be seen and loved for who truly they are.
And I am one of those girlies.
Archer girlies are the one who invalidates their own feelings for others.
I tend to say ‘Yeah, they put pressure on me because they want me to be better. Maybe I am just too weak to handle it.’
Well maybe it was just too heavy to bear.
Archer girlies tend to question their own worth. So, there’s no need to question us. There’s no need to put a mirror in front of us to show how useless we are because the thing is… it already ruined us before you could ever point that out.
An Archer girly is simply a melancholic sunshine who never see her progress. Who always look down on herself. Who keeps comparing herself to others while only focusing on what she can’t do rather than what she can offer.
Archer girlies are constantly seeking validation, yet they can’t be proud of their own achievements whether how high it is because they always think that they didn’t do their hundred percent. That mainly their best isn’t enough.
I am an Archer girly the extroverted introvert who learned how to suffer alone without having any shoulder to lean on. Who learned how life works in the hardest way. Who hides her real emotions, who never feel she was good enough. The overthinker, who cares so much of what other people thinks about her. Who pinch her fingers to remind herself to get a grip. Who realize that what she all has was herself.
All I have is her the girl who wants to be more than just a second choice. Who wish that in another universe, she doesn’t feel like the archer.
